And the dismaying fact was she felt the very opposite of repulsed.
In fact, her insides felt quivery and wanting, and there was nothing more she could have desired in that moment than to feel his weight and width pressed against her.
Into her.
Yes, it was madness, but she truly felt emboldened and if he wanted final proof that she was the wife for him, she’d gladly give it to him.
“Thea!” Fanny’s voice came again, this time more insistent. “Aunt Minerva is asking for you.”
Thea pulled herself away.
“Goodbye, Mr Grayling.” In the doorway she hesitated, though she knew she was compelled to do Aunt Minerva’s bidding.
“Goodbye, Miss Brightwell.” He cleared his throat and seemed suddenly slightly awkward. “I shall need a little while to gather myself before I return.”
She nodded.
“But we shall meet again in the Oriental Pavilion Room. You are not afraid to come?”
“Oh no, Mr Grayling,” she whispered. “I can’t wait.”
Chapter 15
“TELL me what happened? I hope he did more than just whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Is he as charming as you believed?” Fanny fired off the questions like a volley of cannon fire, for they were fast approaching the gathered throng.
Thea’s flesh heated to combustible levels it seemed for the second time that day. “Oh, he was…amazing. He was so sweet and clearly wanted to show me that matters between the sexes are not at all the dreadful, labouring affairs Antoinette made them out to be.”
“Antoinette did not say that! She explained it just as it is.”
“No, she did not! She made it sound a lot of panting and awful parts going into places we…don’t talk about. And—” Thea turned her head away, realising she’d said far too much.
“Oh my Lord, you didn’t!”
“Of course we didn’t. I’m still…pure, if that’s what you mean,” she reassured Fanny in a hasty whisper. She could not believe she was having this conversation with her cousin yet at the same time it was catharsis to speak plainly about matters that were normally shrouded in such obscurity. Matters never spoken about. Well, not by anyone other than Cousins Fanny and Antoinette. Just to ensure Cousin Fanny had no doubts, she added, “At least, Mr Grayling assures me I am still a…a virgin.” She dropped her voice to a hush as the vista of the river, and the mingling throng, came fully into view. “He seemed mighty pleased with how much I enjoyed it. I think…” Embarrassment made her squirm but if there was anyone with whom she could speak about this, it was Cousin Fanny.
“You think what? That he ought to be suitably satisfied that you’d make a wife who’d enjoy to the limit the debauches that are what drive most men? Unlike his first wife?”
“No! You make it sound…so crude. It wasn’t like that. It was…” Thea halted and stared at the trees ahead as memories of the warmth and companionship she and Mr Grayling had shared seeped through her. “It was just lovely.”
“Just lovely is exactly how I’d describe it, too. Why, Lord Fenton and I couldn’t get enough of each other when we first met. We still can’t.”
Thea looked at her wistfully. “I’d so love to have what you and Lord Fenton have.”
“And you shall.” Fanny spoke decisively, taking her arm and leading her on, for there in the distance was Aunt Minerva, a monstrous figure in purple, clearly on the lookout for Thea if the waving ostrich plume in her matching purple velvet toque was anything to go by. “You and he are made for each other; that’s quite clear. And you have all the credentials for a discerning fellow like that.”
“Except a dowry.” Thea felt the weight of the truth on her shoulders like lead. Tears welled up in her eyes but Fanny patted her decisively on the shoulder, saying, “Nonsense, not every man is motivated by pecuniary interest. Love is just as important as a portion.”
“You really think Mr Grayling would consider his feelings for me more important than what I could bring to any union?”
“Of course! I can see it in his eyes.” Fanny’s own twinkled as she led her cousin towards where Cousin Antoinette was pressing baby George into his godfather’s arms.
“Really, Antoinette,” protested Cousin Fanny, “surely you can see
Mr Bramley doesn’t like babies. Give him to Thea.”
Thea held out her hands, a wash of affection warming her as the baby snuggled against her chest. She cooed and murmured to it and the sweet thing rewarded her with a gummy smile.
Glancing up, she was surprised to see a few minutes later that Mr Grayling had arrived. Not only that, but the look in his eyes was one that any new mother would be glad to observe in a proud father gazing upon wife and infant.